Last Waltz

Let me sing you a waltz
Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts
Let me sing you a waltz
About this one night stand

You were for me that night
Everything I always dreamt of in life
But now you're gone
You are far gone
All the way to your island of rain

It was for you just a one night thing
But you were much more to me
Just so you know

I hear rumors about you
About all the bad things you do
But when we were together alone
You didn't seem like a player at all

I don't care what they say
I know what you meant for me that day
I just wanted another try
I just wanted another night
Even if it doesn't seem quite right
You meant for me much more
Than anyone I've met before

One single night with you little ****
Is worth a thousand with anybody

I have no bitterness, my sweet
I'll never forget this one night thing
Even tomorrow, another arms
My heart will stay yours until I die

Let me sing you a waltz
Out of nowhere, out of my blues
Let me sing you a waltz
About this lovely one night stand...


~Julie Delpy (in "Before Sunset")
Listen

And yes, I plug anybody's name in the *s.

Happy Birthday!

Atthanni sii Zindagii

Kabhi chaand kii tarah tapki,
Kabhi raah mein padi paai,
Atthanni sii Zindagi,
Yeh Zindagi...

Kabhi chheenk ki tarah khanki,
Kabhi jeb se nikal aayi,
Atthanni sii Zindagi,
Yeh Zindagi...

Kabhi chehre pe jadi dekhi,
Kahin mod pe khadi dekhi,
Sheeshe ke martabaanon mein,
Dukaan pe padi dekhi,
Chaukanni sii Zindagi,
Yeh Zindagi...

Tamge lagaake milti hai,
Maasoomiyat se khilti hai,
Kabhi phool haath mein lekar,
Shaakhon pe baitthi hilti hai,
Atthanni sii Zindagi,
Yeh Zindagi...


~Gulzar (Who else?)

Ek geet ... Eh geet

Ajj asaan ve bolna / Today I shall speak
Ajj kise na tokna / Today I shan't be stopped
Lekh ve jindrhi da / The script of destiny
Ajj asaan ve bhogna / Today I shall live it

Na roveen meet moiyan te mere / Don't cry at my death my Friend
Na paavin vainh moiyan te / Don't sing mournful tunes
Tu gaaveen geet / Sing instead this song
Ek geet / This Song

Kal jo beet gaya / Yesterday, all that passed
Na beeteya O jo beet gaya / Hasn't passed but remains with me
Sool mere seene / A thorn in my heart
Vairi khob gaya / Driven by Foe

Keetey main sab chaare / I've used all options
Saarey upaa haare / All cures have failed
Ehda 'laaj bas ek geet / The only cure is this song
Ek geet hijar da / A song of longing

Ek geet hijar da / A song of longing
Ek geet sabar da / A song of restraint
Ek geet karam da / A song of kindness
Ek geet reham da / A song of mercy

Ek geet milan da / A song of union
Ek geet balan da / A song of burning
Ek geet gunaah da / A song of Sin
Ek geet panaah da / A song of pardon

Ek geet, Ek geet, Ek geet / A song, A song, A song

Hunh na kujh disda / Now I see nothing
Hunh na kujh sujhda / Now I can't grasp anything
Zehar naseebaan da / Since the poison of the fate
Ajj asaan jo peeta / Has been mine to drink

Sa'te taras kareen / Have mercy on me
Na lekha mera mangii / Don't ask for my liabilities
Ve tu sunii eh mera geet / Just listen this song of mine

Vekheen zara / Look here
Na hove kharaab / Don't let it go waste
Boohey tere, hanju mera / This teardrop of mine
Ho jaave tere dar te manzoor / Let it be accepted at your gate
Mere Huzoor / My Master

Eh geet hijar da / This song of longing
Eh geet sabar da / This song of restraint
Eh geet karam da / This song of kindness
Eh geet reham da / This song of mercy

Eh geet milan da / This song of union
Eh geet balan da / This song of burning
Eh geet gunaah da / This song of Sin
Eh geet panaah da / This song of pardon

Eh geet, Eh geet, Eh geet / This song, This song, This song


~Rabbi Shergill

Yeh Faasle...

Ye faasle terii galiyon ke hamse tay na hue
hazaar baar ruke hum, hazaar baar chale

na jaane kaun sii mittii watan kii mittii thii
nazar mein dhool, zigar mein liye ghubaar chale

ye kaisi sarahadein uljhi hui hain pairon mein,
hum apne ghar ki taraf utthke baar baar chale,

na raastaa kahiin tthahraa na manzilein tthahriin,
ye umr udtii hui gard mein guzaar chale ...

~Gulzar

Muddatein hui, humne ek film dekhi thhi, "Mammo". Amit Phalke, Fareeda Jalal aur Surekha Seekri. Doordarshan par aayi thhi. Main yeh jaan kar bada khush hua thha ki us ladke ka bhi naam "Amit" hai. Un dinon Doordarshan par "Mammo" jaisi filmein dikhaayi jaati thhiin. Jaane kya baat thhi is film mein, zehan mein tthahar sii gayi, khaas kar ye nazm. Aur mazey kii baat ye bhi hai, ki yeh nazm us ek baar ke baad sunne ko naseeb nahin hui, lekin ab tak zabaan par chadhi hui hai. Goya, humnein koshish kaafi kii thhi, ki kahin se mil jaaye (aur koshish ab bhi jaari hai!).
Jaane kitni baar humnein khud ko yeh nazm gungunaate huey, yaa ek andekhe se background mein bajte huey paaya hai. Gaadi ki chhuk chhuk ke beech Chilka ki pursuqoon hawaaon mein, aur jab Janpath se liye huey khaadi ka kurta pahne aur angochcha liye (jo jaan-boojh kar pahna gaya thha ki main orissa ke aadivaasiyon ke beech koi ajoobaa na lagoon) Tamana aur Mohuda ke beech ka raasta tay kar raha thha aur har us baar bhi jab "ghar" ke mayane badle hain. Ab itne saal ho chuke hain ghar se door rahte hue ki, is baat ka yakeen nahin raha ki ghar ko mera intezaar hai bhi ya nahin? Woh bhi shayad ab tak mera intezaar nahin karna chahta, aur karey bhi kyon?? Main koi George pancham to hoon nahin!
Isi nazm par kisi se se pahli baar hui baat, lambi "baat-cheet" mein badal gayi thhi, college ki puraani library ke saamne. Library ke saamne aisi "filmi" mulakaat ke baad zaahir see baat hai dil ballion uchchlaa. Haanlaaki isse pahle ki dil uchchal kar baahar nikal aaye, humne bamushkil is par qaaboo kiya aur seedhiyon se utarate is baat par bhi gaur kiya ki aise vaakye aakhir library ke ird-gird hi kyon hote hain?
Aur har baar yeh nazm , atke hue sirey se zabaan par aa giri hai jab faasle tay karne mein khud ko bebas paaya hai, faasle jo bin bataye chupke se dabey paaon aa gaye. Aaj bhi yehi nazm background mein sunaai padti hai jab, raat ki suqoon mein, peeli roshani mein dhuli hui hyderabad ki sadkon par Ghar lautate hue, NIFT ki ladkiyon ko aur khud jaise gale mein apna apna "patta" daale huey logon ko dekhte huey guzartaa hoon. Ab bhi hawaa mere baalon se khelti hai, lekin yeh Chilka ki nahin Hyderabad ki shahri , dhuein waali, garm hawaa hai jisme suqoon to nahin lekin ek khilandadapan zaroor hai.
Jaane aise kitne lamhein bhi is nazm ki hi tarah kahin atke huey hain anjaane siron par, jo muddatein huin ek film mein suni thhi humnein.

Why don't you stay?

I know it’s late, I know you’re weary
I know your plans don’t include me
Still here we are, both of us lonely
Longing for shelter from all that we see
Why should we worry, no one will care girl

Look at the stars so far away
We’ve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
We’ve got tonight, babe
Why don’ t you stay?

Deep in my soul, I’ve been so lonely
All of my hopes, fading away
I’ve longed for love, like everyone else does
I know I’ll keep searching, even after today

So there it is girl, I’ve said it all now
And here we are babe, what do you say?
We’ve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
We’ve got tonight babe
Why don’t you stay?

I know it’s late, I know you’re weary
I know your plans don’t include me
Still here we are, both of us lonely
Both of us lonely...

We’ve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
Let’s make it last, let’s find a way
Turn off the light, come take my hand now

We’ve got tonight babe
Why don’t you stay?
Let's make it last, let's find a way...

Why don't you stay?
~Bob Seger

How does it feel to find something that you have heard years ago, and felt the pangs of the heart, then?Elated and lonely. And years after when you find "it" and listen to it , you realize that not much has changed. I heard this song by Bob Seger, years ago when it featured on "The Wonder Years", Kevin's and mine. Growing up with Kev was fun, though both of us were seperated in time and space. I wish somebody did stay back with Kev and looked at those stars with him ...

Untitled

"ek geet hijar da...
ek geet sabar da...
ek geet gunaah da...
ek geet panaah da ..."

Preet

Jo tum todo piyaa main naaheen todoon re,
tose preet tod "krishnaa" kaun sang joduun re?

Aab-o-hawaa

Khumar-e-gham hai mehekti fizaa mein jeete hain,
Tere khayaal kii aab-o-hawa mein jeete hain,

Bade tapaak se milte hain milne wale mujhe,
Wo mere dost hain terii wafaa mein jeete hain,

Firaaq-e-yaad main saanson ko roke rakhte hain,
har ek lamha guzarti kazaa mein jeete hain,

Na baat poori hui thhi ki raat toot gayii,
adhoore khwaab kii aadhi sazaa mein jeete hain,

Tumhaari baaton main koi masihaa bastaa hai,
haseen labon se barasti shafaa main jeete hain...

~Gulzar

Two soggy eyes ... and an emptiness...

I Love You

I do not love you as if you were the salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this,

where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep...

~Pablo Neruda (Sonnet XVII)

Saddest Poem

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her.
To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.
That's all.

Far away, someone sings.
Far away, My soul is lost without her.
As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.

My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's.
She will be someone else's.
As she once belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body.
Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.

Love is so short and oblivion so long.
Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.


~Pablo Neruda

Us roz...

Log kahte hain, hui thhi baarish us roz,
unhe kya pata, gham-e-hiz mein roya thha koi,

yun saaye dekh kar khush hote hain sab ghafil,
unhe kya pata kal dhoop mein soya thha koi,

qatra qatra kar ke muskurate hain sabhi,
unhe kya pata chashm-e-tar mein soya thha koi,

manzil-e-aakhir ko ab chalte hain raahil,
unhe kya pata in raahon par soya thha koi ...

Tum to nahin ho?

Sun li jo khudaa ne woh duaa, tum to nahin ho?
darwazey pe dastak ki sada, tum to nahin ho?

Simti hui, sharmai hui, raat ki raani
soi hui kaliyon ki hayaa, tum to nahin ho?

Mehsoos kiya tum ko to, geeli hui palkein,
bheegey huey mosam ki ada, tum to nahi ho?

In ajnabi rahon mein nahin koi bhi mera,
kis ne mujhey yun apna kaha tum to nahi ho?

Duniyaa ko baharhal , giley shikvey rahenge,
duniyaa ki tarah mujhse khafaa, tum to nahin ho?


~ From "Tum to nahin ho" (Jagjit Singh)

Sabse peechhe hum khade...

Zara nazar uttha ke dekho
Baitthe hain hum yahin
bekhabar mujhse kyun ho
Itne bure bhi hum nahin ...

Zamane ki baaton mein uljho na
Hai yeh aasan jan-na
khud se jo agar tum poochho
Hai hum tumhare key nahin

Teri aankhon ka jaadooo
poori duniyaa pe hai
duniyaa ki is bheed mein
sabse peechhe hum khade

Mehfilein aayiin aur gayiin
log aaye or gaye
tum jo aaj aaye ho
dil mein ho bas gaye

Muskura ke baat taalo na
fir miloge jo kahin
dekhna yahi kahoge
itne bure tthey hum nahin

Teri aankhon ka jaadoo
poori duniyaa pe hai
duniyaa ki is bheed mein
sabse peechhe hum khade...


~Silk Route

Lilting tune ... Mohit Chauhan's voice ... magical words ... B-L-I-S-S ...

Kabhi yuun bhii to ho

Kabhi yuun bhii to ho,
dariyaa kaa saahil ho,
poore chaand ki raat ho,
aur tum aao...

kabhi yuun bhii to ho,
pariyon ki mahfil ho,
koi tumhaari baat ho,
aur tum aao...

kabhi yuun bhii to ho,
ye narm mulaayam thhandi havaayein,
jab ghar se tumhare guzrein tumhaari,
khushboo churaayein mere ghar le aayein,

kabhi yuun bhii to ho,
sooni har manzil ho,
koi naa mere saath ho,
aur tum aao,

kabhi yuun bhii to ho,
ye baadal aise toot ke barse,
mere dil kii tarah milne ko,
tumhaaraa dil bhii tarase,
tum niklo ghar se,

kabhii yuun bhii to ho,
tanhaai ho, dil ho boondein ho,
barasaat ho,
aur tum aao,

kabhii yuun bhii to ho...


~Javed Akhtar


Heard this beautiful song on a lonely, balmy night on radio, while still in college and yet again found myself ensconced in the warmth of Jagjit Singh's voice. Finding a favourite song on air, made me feel as if I have yet again met myself ...

A house for Mr. Singh (With apologies to Mr. Biswas)

"Kya baataan karte miyan tum? logaan 25-25 mein mehndipatnam le jaate"
.
"Unke saath kyon nai jaate to?"
..
"tees mein chalte kya?"
..
"baithho"
.
.
.
And so I boarded the auto(rickshaw), and thus started my wild goose chase for the elusive apartment of mine, upon which I have built countless castles (castle over apartment??!!!). Castles of cane chairs, a low slung bed, hanging lamp shades, of guitar evenings in the balcony and my own golden retriever. And I hadn't ever thought this will turn out to be one of the greatest struggles and a learning experience too of a city caught in a time warp. A bastard born out of consummation of cultures.
Hyderabad is growing like a cancerous tumour, riding of course on the much hyped IT wave. Adding to my woes, was my fake hyderabadi accent, the autowallahs looked straight through it. From crampy ghettos, allegedly being rented as "apartments" to plush De-luxe apartments, I have had a look at all of them, muttering to myself how Noida was gazillions of realtorical galaxies ahead of Hyderabad. The ultimate goal of course is to find a satisfactory balance of commuting distance, bathrooms (I am at my finickiest best, when it comes to loos!), and the moolah that I'll shell out as rent, the entire course of optimization theory I took, seems to be going down the drain.
But foraging through the city , I see a city, living, kicking, smiling, shuffling ... a city haggling for rickshaw fares, a city seated in air conditioned Accords, a city hanging from ramshackle buses, a city celebrating "Pravasi Diwas", a city holding hands vying for their share of privacy, a city clad in the hijaab, a city savouring "haleem" , a city revelling at Abid's .... and countless other cities packed in the lanes and the sprawling IT campuses. Which of these cities am I looking a house in? And will the house ever be home?....

kahin chhat thii deevaar-o-dar thhe kahin,
milaa mujhko ghar kaa pataa der se,
diyaa to bahut zindagi ne mujhe,
magar jo diyaa vo diyaa der se ...

... still wondering, how long my golden retriever will have to wait?

The flick that I am

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Rendezvous!

Shivika .... All the 13 years spent growing up together rolled past my eyes, right from the first day I stepped into school to the last day I left it. Who would have known that we would meet after all these years and that too in Infy. She is as graceful as she used to be. One of the nicest and best women I've known. Well, the world is indeed a small place.

Baat

Faqat ik baat hai...
boldene ko kuchch khaas nahin...
sunne ko kuchch nahin...
farmaane ko aaj nahin...
lamhein fursat ke dhoonte hain,
aap aur hum...
din-o-din bahut hai jeene ke liye...
baithh kar magar gungunaane ko kuchch aaj nahin...

~Rohini Mehra

I am leavin' on a jet plane.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say Goodbye
But the dawn is breaking it's early morn
The taxi's waiting his blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'cause I'm leaving on a Jet Plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now they don't mean a thing
Everyplace I go I'll think of you
Every song I sing I'll sing for you

Well now the time has come to leave you
One more time please let me kiss you
Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave you alone
About the times I won't have to say Goodbye...


~John Denver

Tao Wa!

Name : Ding Defen, Nickname : DingDing , English Name : Jessica! And she is one of my sweetest friends that I met in Infy. We met amidst a lot of confusion and due to a strange situation that arose, reaffirming my faith on the the dictum that you meet the best people/friends in the strangest of situations. We hit it off like a house on fire, and the endless chats peppered with food both Indian and Chinese were always the highlights of our rendezvous. Inanities and banters reached the summit of course, when we had Zhu "the rabbit" with us, our common friend. We are each other's windows to our respective countries and cultures for each other, and probably that's why we gifted each others' snapshots of our cultures. She gifted me a "Tao Wa" and me a "Ganesha" figurine to her. A "Tao Wa" is what a nested doll is called in chinese. "Tao" means "nested" and "Wa" means "Doll". Like layers pf people, whom who get to know with time, layer by layer.Unlike these dolls though, you never get to reach the "core" of a person. You never stop discovering people, even those whom you think you have "known" for years. That can be the worst and the best part of them as well.
Adding to all the confusion is the fact that, it's not important how long have you known somebody, but how that person has made you feel for the time that you have been together. Ding now is in a different city and soon I'll be going further away from her, and I don't know whether we'll ever see each other again. But as they say, life is too big a journey and the world too small a place to live in. Amen!